I usually don't have these kinds of problems...

[amnosxmatsujun]

Sometimes, I don't know what ticks off a person. All I did was try to help a fellow fan, and in return, I get a curt DM, an unfollow, and even a block. I hadn't spoken to this girl in a while, but it was she who was clearly avoiding me. Just because there's a computer monitor between us, doesn't mean you can pretend like I don't have feelings and ignore the elephant in the metaphorical room.

I'm comfortable enough with myself and know I have a meaningful life without her in it. But I hoped that she'd at least have common decency. She's almost 40, for crying out loud. Instead of stomping on my kindness and then blaming me, she could have told me to my face what exactly is bothering her.

Unfortunately, I just don't have time to be sulking over people like her. I'd say it's a shame, but then again, it probably isn't, because I'm kind of glad I don't have to deal with her mess anymore.

Comments

[neenashareefa.livejournal.com]

Been there. Hug you... you just need to live with things that make you happy. VIRTUALHUG.

[amnosxmatsujun.livejournal.com]

*hugs* <3

Thanks for the encouragement. You're absolutely right; there should be no room for toxic people in your life. :)

[8-bit-magic.livejournal.com]

I know this feeling all to well, it has happened more than once. I don't want to give up who I am and offer kindness and a caring shoulder but with people who throw it back at me, it doesn't make it easy. I can only sympathise with you and send you a *hug*

[amnosxmatsujun.livejournal.com]

*hugs* <3 Sympathy and hugs do the trick sometimes. Thank you! :)

I don't think we should change qualities we love about ourselves for the sake of people who don't appreciate them. Now, that would be tragic. Letting go comes easy when you realize they don't really belong in your life.

[qonyta.livejournal.com]

Virtual hug to you...🙇
I know that feeling as it happens to me too..
At this year it happened again..made me feel like a shit 😢
Just be who you are. .people who don't like us always can find our flaws..just let her be

[amnosxmatsujun.livejournal.com]

*hugs* Thanks for the encouragement!

It's almost sad, the number of people who have gone through this exact feeling or situation. :/ But you're right. Haters gunna hate, and we just don't have time for negative people like that! <3

[winkychan]

Been there. It hurts right?
In the end, I do everything for myself, even the nice things, even it obviously for the other person to be happy, I'm doing it for myself because it's the right thing to do and it makes me happy. Thus I have no expectations in return, even if the person is a jerk about it or ignorant, it's easier to deal with it.
I hope you're ok, messy people better stay away.

[amnosxmatsujun.livejournal.com]

*hugs* Thanks for the encouragement, I'm feeling a lot better. <3

Your outlook makes sense. Kindness is not always black and white, in fact, it's probably in the gray area most of the time, huh? What you thought you were doing to help someone could be misconstrued as rude if the recipient isn't on the same page. Usually, I find that the result is more important than the intention when it comes to conflict (i.e. even if the intent was good, if the result is negative, the intention is not important)... but in cases like these, I know I didn't have malicious intent, and that's good enough for me.

We shouldn't have to deal with toxic people if we can help it, right?

[winkychan]

I'm glad you're feeling better now :)
Dealing with toxic people is always difficult, the best thing is to remove them from your life, but it's easier said than done (especially when it's family :/ ) but if you want to take care of others, take care of yourself first :)

[akakame-pi.livejournal.com]

I understand that feeling... just wnat to give you a hug. Gambatte ne
Let's imagine that Arashi will always cheer you up :)

how about listen to Arashi's songs... their songs always cheer you up ne ^^

Just as you said move on and don't need to think about a person like that. I have met these kind of people before.
Anyway, cheer up ne, let's enjoy watching Arashi or listen to their songs :D

[amnosxmatsujun.livejournal.com]

*hugs* Thanks for the encouragement, and it's good to see you around <3

There are a lot of important people in my life who love me and I love back, so I don't want to make room for someone who doesn't care. Arashi always makes me feel better, hehe. They're a miracle drug :D

[arisle-11.livejournal.com]

It's better not to have people with negative energy around you. *HUGS*

[amnosxmatsujun.livejournal.com]

*hugs* Thanks for the encouragement! <3

You're right; it's incredible how contagious negative energy is... I don't need that in my life. Letting go feels really good. ^^

[yuui1010.livejournal.com]

My principle, if she doesnt have the guts to say it by herself to my face what's wrong and what's needed to bed fixed, then it's not worthed my time and energy to try to be liked by her or the nice girl.

Our own life is much more important. Yep. I am that selfish.

[amnosxmatsujun.livejournal.com]

Thanks for the encouragement *hugs*!

Would that be considered selfish? I feel like it's justified in a way; you give the other person a chance to make a point, if they are too chicken to confront you, you move on. I don't think there's anything wrong with that. ^^

[mojojowan.livejournal.com]

Aaaaw... I've been there, too. I know how you feel right now. It really sucks that there are people don't appreciate your good intentions. But like what you've said, at least now you don't have to deal with her negativity. We only live once so let's enjoy it with full of positive vibes :) I hope you feel better now, dear~ *hugs*

[amnosxmatsujun.livejournal.com]

*hugs* Thanks for the encouragement! <3

It would be a waste if we spend our lives with negative people who don't appreciate or care about you. I'm sorry to hear you've experienced something similar. But I think we can learn from these experiences and know what we DON'T want... :)

[mojojowan.livejournal.com]

I totally agree with you, dear! As they say, everything happens for a reason and for sure that's the reason why we experienced those kind situation. I learned from that experience and now I know what should I do.

I hope you're okay now, dear. Always smile and if ever you feel down or sad, just pray for it. :)

[so-gracefull.livejournal.com]

awww... gives you a virtual hug. It's so sad to hear these kinds of stories in the fandom when we all just want to have fun and flail over our dorky boys. On the good side though, at least she blocked you herself and consequently cut her off from your friends list. Just know that the good deed that you have done will be given back to you in other ways you wouldn't expect it :) Oh, and Belated Happy Birthday! ♥

[amnosxmatsujun.livejournal.com]

*hugs* Thanks for the encouragement, dearie! <3

That was the worst part, I think. To meet someone in such a rainbow-y, feel-good fandom, then have them turn their backs on you goes against everything the fandom stands for. It was actually the first person I've known in fandom who has confused me with her negativity. So, if I put a positive spin on the whole thing, that's one bad person out of the hundreds I've interacted with in fandom. That's a pretty amazing ratio, and I'm not going to complain about that! :)

You're absolutely right. She did me the favor, I don't have to pull the plug on her because she did the job for me. And that's how life goes, right? You win some, lose some. I'm not going to chase after people who don't care. Thanks again, hun. <3 (And for the b-day wishes, I appreciate that a lot!)

[mahounadegata.livejournal.com]

ah people like that dont deserve you! (sorry i sound feeling close but based on your posts you seem to be a really nice person UwU).. but i just have to say that i really feel sad for these kinds of people, because not only do they lose friends, they're also not keeping a self check and thus not growing but instead deteriorating as a person... i also dont understand why there are people like that in the fandom when fandom is supposed to be your second family.

but!! im glad you seem to be feeling better and glad that you're brave enough to burn bridges with this person (because sometimes i dont know how to burn bridges TwT)